Rituals of Gratitude

Recognizing your everyday miracles.

Oftentimes when I'm sitting in my car at the traffic stop, waiting for the light to turn green, I would drum my fingers on the steering wheel and experience a moment of clarity.

"Boy, am I grateful for this car," I would say under my breath.

Seven years ago, I thought that when I eventually own a car, I would have made it. I remember the years of hitching a ride with my friends to get around town because I didn't have a car, and I had thought to myself countless times, "I can't wait 'till I could get one."

And here I am, at the traffic stop, putting some miles on good ol "Juna", and feeling a moment of gratitude.

Strangely enough, tapping on my steering wheel at a traffic stop seems to be a psychological trigger for those moments of gratefulness. Which makes me wonder if I can develop other "gratitude triggers."

Maybe every time I make coffee in the morning, I remind myself to appreciate the soft sunlight streaming through the window blinds. Soon, making coffee will habitually trigger the gratefulness.

Or maybe every time I post a picture of my family or friends on the internet I can say a quick prayer of thanks for those relationships in my life, which would train my brain to associate the action with gratitude.

What do you think you can do to create "gratitude triggers"?

We are surrounded by everyday miracles. The things we wanted when we were kids, chances are, we're enjoying them today.

It wasn't too long ago when I was saying to myself, "I can't wait to live in my own apartment as an adult." Today, I'm living it. I'm enjoying an apartment that I rent all to myself, that I can do pretty much anything I want in.

The thing is that when our past desires become reality, we start to take them for granted.

Entrepreneur Alex Hormozi gave this brilliant reminder:

Alex Hormozi

@AlexHormozi

You’ve already achieved goals you said would make you happy.

5:26 AM • May 10, 2023

265

Retweets

1988

Likes

Read 130 replies

So are you happy?

The things we thought would make us happy usually don't meet our expectations. Instead of then trying to get better and bigger things, let's just be a little grateful for what we have managed to achieve.

What I Learned This Week

1. From good to great

Jazz musician Miles Davis once said, "Sometimes it takes a long time to be able to play like yourself."

It takes a long while to find your true voice and style.

I often think about this as a musician. When I learned the piano, I was basically copying how other people played it. This is how Bach played it. These are the chords Beethoven would use. This is Maroon 5's style.

I needed to copy the experts to "get good." But if all I ever do is copy, I will never become great at the piano.

Once I attained proficiency with the instrument, I had the freedom to experiment. To go with the flow, to break the rules. As the saying goes, learn the rules before you break them.

It's only through experimentation that we discover our unique voices. But we do so on a foundation of what has worked in the past.

In short, the journey looks like this:

learning how to be like someone else to become good –> discovering your own style to become great.

I find that this applies to every other skill.

2. Rejection clouds thinking

Vanessa Van Edwards, a communication coach, talked about "rejection cues." These are negative verbal or nonverbal signals people give that we can interpret as rejection (e.g. eye rolls, crossed arms, turning away, etc.).

Rejection cues apparently cause a spike in adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones) and affects clear thinking.

Which is why we start stumble over our words and lose our train of thought whenever we notice a rejection cue from someone we're talking to.

3. To fix an ideation problem, change your content consumption

As a writer, coming up with ideas is a constant challenge for me. Stressing about the output is common, but creators tend to overlook the input. The truth is that the quality of the output is largely predicated on the quality of the input.

Creators need to be in control of their "content diet." Just as weightlifters require a strict diet to achieve their fitness goals, creators must adjust their content inputs to match the desired quality of creative output.

Journal your way to a life of adventure

What if you could turn your life into a quest-finding, storm-chasing, monster-slaying adventure — all while achieving your goals?

Introducing The Adventurer's Journal, a new way to visualize your life through the lens of the hero's journey.

I created this journal to give you a fun, exciting way to think about your goals, your skills and talents, and your daily journaling practice.