Being empathetic and naturally curious does wonders.
I have learned to ask more questions before attempting to give an answer.
Even if I think I have the answer, I ask clarifying and curious questions, because the context and intent behind a problem can dramatically change the appropriate answer. Plus, I might be making wrong assumptions about the question.
When a serious question is asked of me, I want to know things like:
- What gave you this question?
- Why is it important to you?
- What assumptions is the question making?
The first answer that popped into my mind often evolves as I keep exploring the question.
And sometimes, something crazy happens.
Sometimes the answer emerges like magic, not just to me but also to the other person, as I dig deeper with them. And we both see in each other’s eyes a mutual understanding of what we just discovered.
In a more everyday and emotionally intense example, if the wife says, “Why can’t you just take the trash out??” my impulsive quip would be something like, “Just be patient! I'll take care of it (eventually).”
But what if I reply, “Taking the trash out seems stressful to you. Why?”
The following conversation would then be quite different, wouldn’t it?
I have personally witnessed wonders when employing deeper, clarifying questions, merely out of curiosity and a desire to understand the heart of the present issue. It’s a skill that needs to be learned.
Try it out!
Stay purposeful.
– Nathanael
Thank you for being a part of my community! If you enjoy this newsletter, consider sharing it with others who might benefit from it as well! And if you want to reach out, you can reply to this email :)
View website
